Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
