You smell like stripper and shame
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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