Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
