Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Also, beer. Big fan.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
