So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
