the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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