My brain says no but my pants say off.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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