if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
