"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize