My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
