that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
