Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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