Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
