I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
