I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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