i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
