Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
