covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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