We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
