so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
