yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
