My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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