also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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