I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
