Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
