these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
