Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You're a waste of cheezeits
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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