i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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