Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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