If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
