in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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