does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
No I am not eating basil off your cock
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
