spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
