don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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