I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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