Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize