So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
