belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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