And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
