We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
