She's JV to your varsity
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
