New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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