You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
