Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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