ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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