She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
