Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I didn't notice because vodka
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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