he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
