My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
