I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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