If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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