Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
