why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
