You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
