Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
