how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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