I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize