i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
