2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
love makes seman taste better
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
