In America we eat man semen.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
