I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
