If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize