what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
