its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
