Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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